Ed Edd n Eddy meet The Humor News
by grape-chan
Summary: If you enjoy lots of humor and defying the laws of physics-R&R! Ed Edd and Eddy try to make a scam for a haunted house, but meet 4 girls, who show them their not the only one's crazy
1. Chapter 1 Introduction

an ed edd and eddy fic.  
  
...........yeah.  
  
~*~*~*~**~**~~*~**~  
  
It was another quiet, peaceful, sunny morning in the suberbs...  
  
yeah, right.  
  
"ED!"  
  
"i didnt do it sarah honest!"  
  
"EED!!!!"  
  
"AHHHHHH!"  
  
The door burst open as a terrified kid ran out acreming for his der, pathertic life, followed by a younger red headed girl who looked as if she was going to shred him to peices.  
  
The boy ran into fences, trees and a pipe to escape his evil younger sister's grasp, not even noticing that this was physicly impossible.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" he ran into his friends, Eddy and Edd.  
  
"Ed you blockhead watch where your going!" Eddy yelled and tried to punch ed, but it only knocked him out of his scary thoughts. "Hello eddy!"  
  
"good morning ed"  
  
"hiya double dee!"  
  
"EEED!!!"  
  
Ed instantly turned white in fear hearing his sister and ran shoving edd and eddy aside and into a light post, falling backwards and blinking his eyes.  
  
Edd nd Eddy ran to ed, "ed? are you alright?"  
  
Edd loked at his freind in concern as Eddy poked him with his foot.  
  
"Double dee, he isnt moving, you think he's knocked out?"  
  
Ed just blinked and sat up. "Hiya guys, what are yall doing here?"  
  
Edddy and Edd just stared at Ed, then shrugged, "c'mon Ed, We have to start on our new plan to earn cash..and jawbreakers," eddy's mouth watered at the thought.  
  
Ed who was still staring at the light jumped up and started to prance aroung nervously,   
  
"sarah is made at me guys!"  
  
"why ed?"  
  
"cause i took this-" he opened his jacket and held out a neckless with black and red beads and a sharp tooth in the center.  
  
"hwy would sarah want that?" Eddy said staring at it.  
  
"what is it ed?"  
  
"whats what?"  
  
"the thing you took from sarah."  
  
"its a spell neckless that subdues demon, I read it in my new comic book!"  
  
"ed, you know that thats not true right?"  
  
"but double dee! It is! " he opened the comic book and showed a picture of the neckless to double dee and eddy, it look identical to the one ed had taken from sarah.  
  
"where did sarah get that ed?"  
  
"she found it in the woods!"  
  
Eddy, tired of being ignore, grabbed edd and ed and pulled them into the alley, "c'mon guys, we have work to do."  
  
"work..?"  
  
"ya ed, we are gonna go into the haunted house."  
  
"what? why?" edd stared at eddy.  
  
"Everyone loves haunted houses double dee, we just get ed into a monster coustum, add some candelss and halloween stuff,a dn then voila, a halloween spooksvile!"  
  
By this time they were standing in front of the haunted house.  
  
Ed looked at the house and his hair stood on end "EDDY NO!"  
  
too late, eddy dragged both of his freinds into the house.  
  
As son as eddy tured around when they were in the house, a gust of wend blew by them nd a flash of red went before their eyes and the door slamed shut.  
  
Ed shoke in fear muttering about demons and ghosts, Eddy screamed like a little girl and clinged to a table leg, and edd just passed out.  
  
Then there waS maniac like maughter that echoed through the house and edd, e and eddy huddled in fear.  
  
"this...place.....is...is.....GREAT!!!!" Eddy yelled and jumped up,   
  
"the kids will pay big bucks for this!"  
  
"WHAT THE .....HECK ARE YOU THINKING EDDY?"  
  
"double dee almost said a bad word eddy."  
  
"THIS PLACE IS TERRIFING! I NEARLY WET MYSELF I WAS SO SCARED! WHO WOULD WANT TO COME HERE AND GET TERRIFIED!?!??!?!"  
  
"your just jelous that I cane up with this idea and you didn't!" eddy said sticking his tounge out at edd.  
  
Ed just looked aroung and stred at the starcase in total fear, Edd and Eddy saw this and slowly turned thier heads to the staircase, then gasped in fear as they say a....  
  
"what the heck?"  
  
"its a girl."  
  
"whats a girl doing here?"  
  
"how should i know eddy?"  
  
Ed gasped again and looked in his comic book, then back to the girl in fear.  
  
"ITS THE DEMON OF THE COMIC BOOK, CHANCHAN!"  
  
"what are you talking about ed?"  
  
The girl laughed, she had brown hair in a pony tail and two strands of hair that had escaped the ponytil rested upong her fce, she was wearing ablack shirt and jeans and a sword. "I see we have a smart one here."  
  
"ed smart?"  
  
She dissapeared from the starcase an reapeared in front of the 3 boys, she laughed evily and lifte done hand that had clawsand was about to attack when-  
  
THWACK  
  
Eddy Ed and Edd who had their eyes shut in fear, opened their eyes to see a boot hit the girl in the head  
  
The girl rubbed her head and glared at the person on the staircase, it was another girl.  
  
SHe has londe hair that was up in a bun and was wearing a pink shirt and jeans.  
  
"chanchan, stop it! thats mean! dont scare them!"  
  
'chan chan' sighed and looke dta the boys. and appologized.  
  
"hey kids, sorry, i was just joking around."  
  
Edd dusted himself off, "well i hope your proud of yourself, cause you succeded!"  
  
The blonde girl walked downn the stairs. "hi, my name is Lalaine. and this is chanchan"  
  
"I'm double dee, this is ed and eddy"  
  
"what are you?"  
  
"we're different ok?"  
  
"but the sword!"  
  
Chanchan took out her sword, and shook it about, "its plastic see?"  
  
Ed picked up the swod and waved it around, playing with it then pickeing up his comic book, started to look at it.  
  
"why are you here?" eddy asked as he regained compsur, Ed just looked at the girls, then to his comic book.  
  
Lalaine smiled, "well to tell you the truth, we-"  
  
They were enterupted when the door slamed open  
  
"Umi, for the last time, the doornob turns right!"  
  
"shut up nemesis!"  
  
The two new girls stopped and looked at ed edd and eddy  
  
"uhhh......."  
  
The fist girl, had a low ponytail and a tshirt with jeand and a plastic sword. the second had a blue shirt jeans and dark brown hair that was down. The girl with the pony loked around "uhh...chanchan, lalaine, what did we mis?"  
  
"Umi, this is Ed,"  
  
"I am ed."  
  
"eddy,"  
  
"Whats up?"  
  
"and double dee."  
  
"hello."  
  
"guys, this is Nemesis and Umi"  
  
"um..hi?"  
  
"what the heck"  
  
"what are you guys doing here?"  
  
"wel..um..umi, my ed, and double dee qwere going to make a haunted house but we found you guys here."  
  
".........................oh"  
  
~*~*~*~*~8~**~*~*~8~*~*~**~**~*~*~  
  
thats all for now, it will be funnier, i promas, please review. you hvae to find out why the girls are there! 


	2. Chapter 2 The Haunted House Scam

repost:  
  
"guys, this is Nemesis and Umi"  
  
"um..hi?"  
  
"what the heck"  
  
"what are you guys doing here?"  
  
"wel..um..umi, me ed, and double dee were going to make a haunted house but we found you guys here."  
  
".........................oh"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ed, who had by now started picking things out of his bellybutton spoke up, "look what i found guys! ahahaha, its the candy a saved last month!"  
  
Everyone turned their attention to the proud Ed, and Umi stared blankly and blinked, "What an interesting color."  
  
"look eddy, the candy is all blue! say bluuuuuue"  
  
Nemesis sighed, "oh boy"  
  
Umi chimed in with ed, "BUUUUE!"  
  
"ED!" Double Dee interupted their singing...thankfully.  
  
"PUT THAT AWAY ED! Do you have any idea where that has been?!"  
  
ChanChan, who had been staring at them all with a funny expression on her face blinked, "In his...belly..button?"  
  
Lalaine shudderd, "eeeeew!"  
  
Umi regained her composur and coughed, "I would say we should all just take a minute to breathe and collect our thoughts. This negetive energy we are making is filling the room with Bad carma...or bad chii. SO the best option is to think happy thoughts"  
  
"..." The room stared at Umi in disbelief.  
  
Nemesis finnally broke the silence, "And how do we do that?"  
  
Umi smiled smugly "Think about Barney on Fire"  
  
Eddy blinked, "Who?"  
  
"Amazing.. her brain waves are remarkable." Double Dee said studing Umi.  
  
ChanChan crossed her arms, "You should listen to her babble in the morning, one time she explined the law of physics to her cereal."  
  
Umi whacked ChanChan, "I told you not to tell anyone!"  
  
Lalaine giggled and Nemesis snickerd.  
  
Eddy stared and Double dee scribled something on a notepad with a red pen.  
  
where the heck did he get that from?  
  
Ed started munching the candy with the interesting color.  
  
"Oh my! Ed! Did you leave the note for Sarah about where the key to the house is? Your parents will be very angry with you if they find out you locked her out again!"  
  
"DOn't worry Double Dee, ahahaha. I left a letter to Sarah before i left and nailed it to the door!"  
  
"what does it say?" Nemesis asked in curiosity.  
  
Ed smiles and raised one hand, as if talking in a superior tone, "it says 'Dear Sarah, I am hanging out with Eddy and Double Dee for a few hours, the key is under the mat.' " He smiles at his genious Then ChanChan put in her 2 cents.  
  
"your only hope is a blind burgaler."  
  
Ed looked at her, eyes apart and face straight.  
  
Everyone looked at Ed, awaiting his response.  
  
Ed kinda spaced out so everyone decided to go on ignoring him.  
  
"So, what do we do now?" asked Double Dee.  
  
"OH! I KNOW! we make the haunted house, and chanchan can scare them from the staircase, Umi can creep on them from the Kitchen and Nemesis can chase them around the living room!"  
  
"What about me?" Lalaine said sniffling.  
  
"You can sell tickets." Little doller signs appeard in Eddy's eyes and he rubbed his hands together, "ooh the possiblities"  
  
nemesis glared, "I will not lower myself to be a sideshow for some morons"  
  
Chanchan nodded then said with an evil grin, "what's in it for us?"  
  
Lalaine nodded and eddy leaned twords her, "How about a date?"  
  
Lalaine laughed, "Sorry, I'm too old for you"  
  
Eddy fummed and Doubl Dee snickered.  
  
Umi, who was, the whole time watching Ed try to get a vase off his head by..ramming it...against...a table....repeatingly....ouch.  
  
eddy grinned again and whisperd something to Nemesis, she nodded and whisperd to Lalaine and ChanChan. They nodded and offerd a hand, "DEAL!"  
  
"Uh guys? A little help here?" *crash* *snap* *tinkle tinkle tinkle* "...nevermind guys."   
  
~*~*~*~*~   
  
chanchan: oooh what was the deal they made? well i need reveiws to say. wink wink 


	3. Chapter 3 First Victims

Everything was perfect, Chanchan was sitting patiently on the staircase waiting for her victims, her kitsune ears on her head. Umi was hiding behind a rustey and broken down counter in the kitchen, a scary mask on her face so she wouldn't look human. Nemesis was standing behind a curtain grinning in mischief. "Heh heh heh."  
  
Ed was reading his comic book yet again but this time he was upside down with his feet tied in a knot to the ceiling fan. Eddy looked up at Ed, "That will make sure he doesn't screw anything up."  
  
Double Dee, who was graphing charts and diagrams and calculating the amount of fake spider web needed looked at Eddy, "You say something Eddy?"  
  
Eddy turned white and shook his head, "Noooo, of course not Double Dee!"  
  
Double Dee gave a skepticle look then contuned with his calculation and bid numbers. Eddy threw a sheet over Ed as he hung on the ceiling. He started running off grabbing the suplies Double Dee had and decorating the house, in a matter of seconds the house looked like a HollyWood Spooky movie.  
  
Double Dee turned around and jumped up in surprise, "How does he do that?"  
  
ChanChan poked her head from the staircase, she was covered in fake spider webs, "A little overbored, Eh Eddy?"  
  
Eddy gave one of his deminted physco laughs and ChanChan blinked and shuddered, "Freak."  
  
Her comment was awarded with a giant plastic spider hurled at her face, connecting and she pealed the spider off her face growling as Eddy laughed.  
  
Double Dee, who was watching the whole thing widened his eyes as the spider was chucked back at Eddy, who screamed like a little girl and flew out of the room into the hallway clock, where Nemesis, who had veiw of the hallway looked to see Eddy with clock springs up his nose and the koo koo bird poppin in and out of his mouth, through his teeth, 'If you find any teeth around" He said clumsily and in a dizzy voice, "they're mine."   
  
Lalaine was wearing a witches costume, it wasn't a scary witch, but it was a purple and black skirt with silver spider webs glued to it. She had a purple shredded looking shirt and silver spider web sleeves, On her head was a pruple and black stripped hat and she shifted her weight to her broom, "Well I'm ready to sell tickets."  
  
Eddy was instantly next to her checking her out when he smiled strangly, "heeey good looking."  
  
Lalaine quirked an eyebrow when he said that and she turned and stood near the door with a mason jar for the money.  
  
Double Dee finished his own coustume which was a scientist. Eddy glared at him, "You ahve to be scary!"  
  
Double Dee made a lowzy growl, "hhhhrrrg."  
  
ChanChan, who finished peeling off the fake spider webs and was walking down the stairs to ram it down a certain someone's throat, looked to Double Dee in slight surprise.  
  
Lalaine looked at Double Dee she grabbed her make up bag to give him a makeover.  
  
She added green and all this other..stuff to him and when she took a step back they all gasped in surprise. Double dee looked like an old man scientist with gray wild hair that went everywhere and hillbilly teeth. She showed him a mirror and Double Dee looked at it for exactly 4.7 seconds before he passed out.  
  
After dragging Double Dee out of the room everyone was ready, somehow Jimmy and Sarah got to the house and opened the door. Jimmy peeked in shook in fear, "Gosh Sarah, this place is giving me the hebee jebbes!" Sarah shoved Jimmy in the room, "Don't be a scardy cat! There is nothing scary...in...here?" Sarah looked up to her right to see someone move on the staircase, Jimmy must have saw it too cause he was clinging to her like ther was no tomarrow. Saraha unpried him with a crobar and took his hand. They slowly went up the staircase and the stairs creeked beneath their feet. ChanChan smirked and made a low growling noise, Jimmy's eyes grew the size as dinner plates and she shook like a blender on high power. Sarah just gaped.  
  
"Sarah, lets get outta here!"  
  
Sarah grabbed his hand and dragged him up the staircase. When they got to the top, she looked to the side slowly and her eyes widened as she saw a hand with claw-like nails reach out and grab her arm. The grip was firm and Sarah did the first thing that came to mind.  
  
She screamed like a wild banshi from heck.  
  
ChanChan instantly let go and covered her sensitive ears.  
  
Jimmy ran down the stairs mach five with Sarah hot on his heals, ChanChan fell back with little swirlies in her eyes.  
  
Jimmy and Sarah ran into a body, they looked up to a smirking Umi with a mask on. The kids sreamed again and Umi chased them down the hall. From nemesis' veiw point of the hall, she saw umi chase them down the hall away from the kitchen. Then they somehow turned in the dead end hall and ran back towrd the kitch.  
  
*crash*  
  
*clunk clunk*  
  
*silence*  
  
"..............hi."  
  
"RYYYRNNNN!"  
  
Umi was being chased down the Hall by Jimmy and Sarah, they saw her mask fall.  
  
Somehow, again they turned and jimmy and sarah chases umi back to kitchen down the hall.   
  
Last ChanChan, who must have reganed compsure chased with Umi Jimmy and Sarah.  
  
Ed, I don't even want to know how he got down from the ceiling fan, was running like he usually does with his comic on his face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
After Nemesis came out and scared the two kids out of their wits and they went hurdling out the house vanishing into the distance, they thought maybe this would go better as planned since sarah didn't see Ed. Double Dee, who woken from his terrified slumber planned out their next victim...  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
TNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF- *theme music plays* ...I-FORGOT-THE-NAME-OF-IT-SO-I'LL-JUST-SAY-THIS-FAC!... wHO IS THE NEXT VICTIM?????  
  
REVEIW~ 


	4. Chapter 4 More Victims

A/N: I do not own the Ed's...though if I did I would sell them for 1 million pure and use it to buy marbles. ...Because I have seemed to lost mine.  
  
....On with the chapter!  
  
After Nemesis came out and scared the two kids out of their wits and they went hurdling out the house vanishing into the distance, they thought maybe this would go better as planned since sarah didn't see Ed. Double Dee, who woken from his terrified slumber planned out their next victim...  
  
~*~*~**~  
  
ChanChan laughed insanly before getting whacked with Lalaines broom stick. Then she shut up.  
  
They went back to their hiding places waiting for their next victim, though Eddy thiis time put a monkey coustume on Ed bacuse he kept singing, "I'm a monkey, Do the monkey dance! I am a monkeY! There is a spider crawling in my pants! I am a monkey! Don't not point in stare! I am a monkey who is sanity impared!"  
  
Five minutes after he sing this song Double Dee started taking notes and Lalaine whacked him with her broom handle, to no effect he contined repeating his strange song.  
  
Next thing you know Ed was digging through Lalaine's makeup bag. He picked up a hair dryer and held it up like a lazer gun, "I shall Banish you demons from the underworld before you can rip out our brains and sell them for to-fu!"  
  
ChanChan muttered to herself, "I would prefer sushi."  
  
Umi decided to put on scary make up instead of a mask, which was a shocker to everyone. She took the hair dryer from Ed and blinked reading a warning.  
  
" 'Do Not use while sleeping.' "  
  
Umi sweatdroped, "What kind of idiot.."  
  
She looked at Ed who was playing with a curling iron, curling his hair. "..Nevermind."  
  
Umi picked up a small pamplet for the curling iron, " 'Warning: If your hair is smoking and smells like it's singing..that means your hair is on fire.' "  
  
Umi widened her eyes, as she looked up at Ed who's hair, which was smoking caught fire.  
  
"Now I know why they write these things."  
  
Ed started yelling and running around in circles. Double Dee screeched in horror and threw a bucket of water on Ed's head, which put out the foire but Ed contined running aroung, now with a bucket on his head. He kept running untill his body had impact with an antique statue, he stood up and the bucket fell off his head as the statue wobbled, then stopped and stood safley on the ground. Everyone sighed in releif.  
  
Ed took one step toward the others, tripped over the bucket and it flew behind him, hit the statue which fell crashing onto the floor into a bigillion peices. Ed looked back.  
  
"oops."  
  
Everyone sweatdropped and sighed. ChanChan picked up a peice of the statue after comming down the stairs hearing a crash and laughed evily, "I shall shishcobob my victims and barbcue them untill they're nice and crispy and good with ketsup! Then I shall-"  
  
WHAP  
  
Lalaine gave ChanChan a very evil glare.  
  
"-I mean" ChanChan started dropping the peice.  
  
"I shall use it to save all of the woodland creatures from the evil gum decease known as" her voice went like a narrivive, "GENGIVITUS."  
  
Lalaine whacked her again with he broom and ChanChan coughed, "I'm going back upstairs.."  
  
Double Dee toke more noted in his little notebook, "Very very strange brain wave patters."  
  
Ed spoke up in a matter-of-fact attitude, "Actually Double Dee, ChanChan there was momentarily possesed by her youkai, or demon side and when Lalaine whacked her she regained her control."  
  
Eddy looked at Ed for a moment. "Say what?"  
  
Ed's eyes spread apart and that stupid look came again. "....The African Swat fly only lives up to 28 hours."  
  
"...................."  
  
Double Dee blinked then quickly jotted down more notes.  
  
Ed started laughing and started walking around reading his comic book.  
  
Umi, who was standing by the door waiting for someone to coem in jumped up, "SOmeone's comming!"  
  
They all hid again in their palces and the door slowly opened. It was Kevin and Nazz.  
  
"Kevin, this place is giving me the creeps, let's just go ask someone else for a 3/4ths wrench."  
  
Kevin gave a proud look, "I'm not scared of no stupid ol' house!"  
  
ChanChan looked at the from the staircase and took a step forward so that she seemed to form out of the shadows where a broken light bulb hug at in the corner of the stair case.  
  
"heh, Heh, Heh. I see We have drawn in a few victims."  
  
Kevin and Naz's eyes flashed up at the staircase heaing her voice echo through the house.  
  
"W-Who are you?" Kevin asked trying not to get scared. Naz shook and his behind Kevin.  
  
Umi, who was behind the open door, slammed the door shut, "I think that shouldn't matter."  
  
Naz turned to Umi and screamed seeing a bloody face and vil smile. Kevin turned too, "ooh maaan."  
  
ChanChan stepped out fot he shadows, "What shall we do with them, Umi?"  
  
Kevin watched ChanChan and Naz kept her attention on Umi.  
  
"I dunno, they look like a full meal, right Nemesis?"  
  
nemesis stepped out fot he shadows from in the hall, "Yes..hey look delecious."  
  
Kevin and Naz screamed and ran past them, into the kitchen.  
  
ChanChan walked down the stairs, Umi walked toward the kitchen and Nemesis walked from the hallway, they all walked side by side to the kitchen when Kevin and Naz, who were looking around the corner behind the old counter, turned to make a break for it on the other side, they stopped and Saw Lalaine sitting down next to them, "Hello."  
  
they screamed again and ran past her when they ran into Ed.  
  
"...Ed?"  
  
Kevin's face turned red in anger, "Arrrg I KNEW they had something to do with this!"  
  
Ed blinked, "Hi Kevin!"  
  
Naz sighed, "Well at least we know we're not in any danger."  
  
Eddy tackled Ed, "ED!"  
  
Ed was tackled to the cround and crashed into a pile of old pots, pans, and other utensils, "How did you untie yourself and get out of the locked safe!?"  
  
Ed wagged his finger, "Ah, ah, ah! I can't tell the secret of the molerats."  
  
Eddy hit Ed with a pot , but it bounced back and hit Eddy on the head.  
  
Kevin looked around, "Where's Double Dweeb?"  
  
Eddy crossed his arms stubbornly, "We aren't telling!"  
  
Ed raised his hand, "He's in the cubbert"  
  
Naz opened the cubberd and Double Dee was scrunched up in there, being shoved in by Eddy, and fell out, "Owie.."  
  
Kevin blinked, "Then.."  
  
Naz stiffened, "who are those poeple?"  
  
Chanchan, Nemesis, Umi and Lalaine all by this tike were in the kitchen, they introduced themselves, much to Eddy's misfortune.  
  
While ChanChan helped foor Double Dee up, Umi sat on the counter and Lalaine started telling them about the scam, which was more to Eddy's misfortune.  
  
While Eddy rambled on with his 'rackle fragges sonofa momago' or whatever he was angerly mumbling, Nemesis started to tell them about Jimmy and sarah.  
  
Umu started poking Nemesis as she spoke so the conversation was shortened. "Then Jimmy and Sarah saw me when I mad one of my terrifing faces and ran out the room cring in fear so we all starte- QUIT POKING ME!!!!!!!"  
  
Umi who was rambling in the background, "poke poke poke poke poke" stopped and fell back from Nemesis' outburst.  
  
Nemesis sighed and Umi sat back on the counter.  
  
Kevin blinked, "so why are you guys doing this?"  
  
*silence filled the room for a moment*  
  
Lalaine smiled, "Sorry, that's a secret!"  
  
They couldn't stop ignoring Eddy when he grinned like a n idiot and started singing happy songs since lalaine kept one thing secret and danced around like a ballarina.  
  
ChanChan watched him, "....Righto."  
  
Naz shrugged, "Well me and Kevin just wanted to borrow a wrench."  
  
Double Dee, who was taking notes again, terrible terrible habbit chimed in, "I know I have one in my workshop, Youc an borrow it, but please do return it when your finished."  
  
Kevin and Naz started leaving, "Thanks Double Dee!"  
  
With that they left closing the door behind them.  
  
"This has been quite an interesting day."  
  
Chanchan grinned, "Not as interesting as when Umi carried out a confersation with a bronze statue of a cow in the park last summe-"  
  
WHACK  
  
"CHANCHAN STOP SPILLING MY SECRETS!"  
  
"owie..ness."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's all for today, aren't you glad I pdated so soon? Well I hope this will satisfy you untill i get my next xhapter up. Ja Ne people. I'm out! 


	5. Chapter 5 Uninvited Guests

A/N: Hello there. Yeah.........  
  
.....  
  
...Oh, you're still here.  
  
....Guess I should start with the fiction eh?  
  
-gets glares from readers and shrinks- Eh...FINE!  
  
On with the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Roses are Red,  
  
Violets are blue  
  
Me no own  
  
So you no sue!  
  
-On The Last Exxxxciting Chapter Of Ed Edd and ....Joe? ..*reads script* ..EDDY!-  
  
Kevin and Naz started leaving, "Thanks Double Dee!"  
  
With that they left closing the door behind them.  
  
"This has been quite an interesting day."  
  
Chanchan grinned, "Not as interesting as when Umi carried out a confersation with a bronze statue of a cow in the park last summe-"  
  
WHACK  
  
"CHANCHAN STOP SPILLING MY SECRETS!"  
  
"owie..ness."  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
"Wait! Kevin! Naz! Come baaaaaack!" Eddy chased after the them as the two departed from the haunted home. Ed was reading his comic book again. Umi looked over his shoulder and saw some colored pictures with words and cruel puns that someone's grandmother would be ashamed of. Umi looked to Double Dee, "Hey, does hallow-head here actually UNDERSTAND what this thing says? Can he actually read it?"  
  
Double dee pondered for a moment, "I..Don't know actually. I haven't given this much thought. Though after many expereinces such as a curse he did with the comic book and 'Jimmy' and-"  
  
"Yes or No will be fine, thank you."  
  
Double Dee stopped rambling, "I believe so." He looked past Umi to Ed, "Ed, can you read that comic book?"  
  
"....."  
  
".....Ed?"  
  
.....Silence.  
  
"...Ed?"  
  
......More silence.  
  
"......Ed?"  
  
.......Nothing has changed, it's silence people.  
  
"..............Ed?"  
  
............Dark loud silence.  
  
".....Ed?"  
  
.........  
  
"....E-"  
  
"DARNIT YOU STUPID-HEAD ANSWER DOUBLE DEE BEFORE I BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY INCLUDING YOUR PEANUT SIZED BRAIN!"  
  
"...Hello Umi, How are you?"  
  
"...GAAAHA!"  
  
Umi started to chase Ed around the kitchen as he laughed like an idiot and weaved around counters, hallways, the broken statue, Nemeis, and even Lalaine as she did her make-up.  
  
"Die You Stupid-" Umi rammed right into the stiff Ed as he stopped abruptedly at the doorway. She fell backwards onto the dusty floor and groaned, "Oh..my butt. I broke my poor butt."  
  
ChanChan, Lalaine and Nemesis rushed into the room and Lalaine helped Umi up.  
  
Umi rubber her sore butt again, "My butt. I can't feel it."  
  
Lalaine said bluntly, "You have no butt."  
  
Umi snorted back, "Yes I do," she turned looking at the appendage and whimperd, "It's a pretty butt!"  
  
"..." ChanChan looked at Ed's face seeing a terrified face. Like he saw a ghost or something. Edd and Eddy ran out he kitchen and arrived at Ed's side to see why the girls left and they stopped too seeing who was stading at the doorway.  
  
"Ka..ka....kakaka...ki...deh...kar...tipi..." Double Dee stuttered as he shook in fear.  
  
CHanChan gave them an odd look, "Try sentences and phrases please. She looked at the people at the doorway. They DID look pretty..ugly. Lalaine nearly barfted at not only their faces, but their hairstyles and fashion wardrobs.  
  
Nemesis looked at them in shock. They were...LAUGHING! These..THINGS were..LAUGHING..at HER. These kids must be IDIOTS to be laughing at her..that or just suicidal.  
  
Umi blinked at them. What was so darn funny? Why did they have this possesed look in their eyes? Why were the ed's so scared? Why was everyone just staring and not talking? ..What's for dinner tonight?  
  
"KANKERS!!!!!!!!!" Ed screamed and ran around everyone in circles panting and screetching about their dooms day arrival.  
  
ChanChan blinked as Eddy and Double dee ran frantically around following Ed's example, "What's a..Kanker?"  
  
Umi shrugged, "Sounds like some kind of cereal."  
  
Lalaine added, "Or jean styles."  
  
Nemesis looked at ChanChan, Umi and Lalaine, "Or maybe some kind of dicease."  
  
"You mean like" ChanChan added the narrative voice again "GENGIVATUS!"  
  
Nemesis blinked, "..noo, I mean like some kind of foot dicease that makes fungus grow"  
  
(A/N: How the heck do you spell that word!!?!?!?)  
  
The Kankers continued laughing as they approached Ed, Edd and Eddy, "Look girls" Lee said, "It's our boyfreinds!"  
  
The blonde Kanker frowned and pouted, "Looks like they're cheating on us with these other weirdos!"  
  
Nemesis twitched "Us?! Weirdos?!"  
  
Lalaine gritted her teeth, "Them?! Boyfreinds!?"  
  
Umi fidgeted, " Us?! Cheating?"  
  
ChanChan asked again, "What's a Kanker?"  
  
The Kankers laughed again, "I'm Marie Kanker!" stated the blue haired one. She words a black shirt and grey pants, she grinned her yellow-teethed grin.  
  
The blonde kanker smirked, "I'm May Kanker!"   
  
"and I'm Lee Kanker" the red heard concluded. "We are The Kanker sisters."  
  
ChanChan blinked a couple of times, "..........Oh."  
  
Nemesis, "So..are you some kind of foot fungus?"  
  
Marie Kanker snorted, "Of course not you stupid girl.I'M Double Dee's Girlfreind!"  
  
Nemesis lowerd her eyes to 'marie'. Boy, this girl needed an attitude adjustment. What did she think she was? Some kind of Junkie-punk wanna-be.???  
  
Lalaine was about to wring this..this...FAKE BLONDIES NECK! She never liked being called 'Dumb blonde' and she always stood up for her fellow blonde sisters. but right now, there was gonna me one blonde with a hint of red. Heh, the red would be added after ramming May's head repeatingly into the walls.  
  
Lee Kanker grinned whickedly as Umi clenched her fist, "Shorty's my boyfreind. YOU can't have him you little rat-"  
  
"I DON'T WANT THEM AS A BOYFREIND YOU IMBECILE!"  
  
the Kankers faces changed dramaticly from smug to down-right shocked.  
  
Ed, Edd and Eddy hide behind the staircase seeing World War III aproching.  
  
"Hit the deeeck!" Eddy screached as Ed's face made contact with the Dirt in the plants followed by Double Dee and Eddy. "Hello again dirt, how are the wife and kids?"  
  
"Ed, shut up you're embarasing yourself"  
  
"Dirt, this is my freind Eddy, Eddy this is Dirt. He's-"  
  
"Ed try to not talk so the Kankers cannot find out whereabouts."  
  
"Double Dee, I think the fact that your feet are sticking out of this bush may kinda throw that idea out the window, doncha think?"  
  
"Anyway dirt, how has the weather been under there?"  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: Well that's all for now, I hope you enjoyed it. I need some ideas for the next chapter though. Should we kicks the kanker butt? or should the eds try? REVEIWS AND SUGGESTIONS NEEEEEEDED, if not you will have to wait. -sighs- Please don't make me wait.  
  
ja ne- 


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